not thinking (tippy)

[night]

Lansing had been thinking entirely too much as of late. Not only was the upcoming anniversary of Lily Craft's death forcing her to think of things she would rather forget, but that Xavier Hayes character, for some reason, would not get out of her head. The way he had rushed out of her home a week ago had confused her, and the story he had told about his deceased wife had both saddened and intrigued her, and his handsome face had, to be honest, given her a bit of a crush.

So, she had come to District 11's tavern to avoid thinking. Lansing spent much of her time here, rarely to drink, mostly to be around the people of her district. After work, nearly everyone came to the bar. It was rowdy and hot and full of laughter and fights and familiarity. Most of Lansing's former schoolmates were here, and even her mother's were. Lily Craft's brother, Landon Craft, who had once been popular and handsome but turned to a sad drunk after his sister's death, sat in the corner of the room, in a daze. Will Jackson, who always greeted Lansing with a, "Hey Lansin'. Lookin' good.", had taken it upon himself to try and get a few words out of Landon. Lansing watched, wrinkling her nose and frowning. It seemed like a losing battle. The people who had grown up with Landon had been trying to get him to act like his old self for years. And that was a losing battle.

Lansing sighed and ran a hand through her long, thick honey blonde hair. If it wasn't for her clear sight of Landon Craft, she would be able to not think at all. Now she was stuck in her head, even in the warm familiarity of the tavern.

Suddenly, the tavern grew quiet. Everyone was looking at something. Lansing turned so she could see who it was, deciding that it was probably a stranger and that stranger very well could be Gamemaker Xavier Hayes. And it was! Lansing found herself both nervous and smiling. She'd wanted to see the man again, but she wasn't sure if, after the way he ran away from her when she was only trying to be kind, he now hated her. Lansing locked eyes with him for a split second, grew scared, and looked away, figuring that if he wanted to speak to her again, he would now.

ooc: OKAY SO THIS GOT REALLY LONG REALLY QUICK AND I RAMBLED A LOT BUT IT MAKES SENSE RIGHT SORRY

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[Alyssa :)]

After leaving Lansing's house, Xavier the Gamemaker had stayed at the small town's inn, where he had gotten very little sleep. He was convinced that if one looked at his bare back, they would be able to see permanent marks where the boards in the bed dug into his back through the thin straw mattress. Thin, because why waste hay for a bed when there was livestock to feed?

Not that it would've helped if the mattress was thicker, for Lansing had been the biggest reason for his sleeplessness. Thoughts of her were not only making their way into all of his waking hours, but they were also intruding into his sleeping hours. It was hideous. It was beautiful. Hideous because, obviously, he was getting little to no sleep. Beautiful because he was finally feeling those amazing, comforting, healing emotions he hadn't felt in so, so long. Not since his wife had passed. Now, if only the guilt would get out of the way and stop sabotaging that beautiful healing.

In order to escape these emotions, Xavier decided to go to the bar and get a few drinks. Alcohol: the only friend that had stayed with him through the hard times. It hadn't failed him yet, and he knew it wouldn't disappoint tonight either. So, Xavier walked into the small bar that matched the small inn in the small town of District 10. However, he didn't think the bar's size took away from it. No, Xavier thought it actually added to its charm. That is, if a bar can have charm.

Suddenly, he noticed that everyone was silent, staring at him. He nervously pretended to be looking around at the decor. There were wooden shelves bedded with hay with pictures, mementos, and other little trinkets placed on them, there were simple but sturdy chairs and tables, there was a polished bar counter top. Then he spotted something he hadn't expected to see. The very person he had come to escape from. Lansing.

Lansing was smiling at him, but then she quickly turned away as if she didn't want him to see her. No chance of that happening--their eyes had already met, he had already recognized her, she had already recognized him. He started hyperventilating a bit, but feeling the eyes of everyone in the room locked on him (except for Lansing's, of course), he tried to calm down a bit. He decided to pretend like nothing had happened that morning, that she hadn't said they were just friends, that he hadn't left abruptly after hearing that. So, Xavier nonchalantly strolled up to the bar and sat down...right next to Lansing.

"I'll have a beer," he quickly told the bartender, hoping the silence would end soon. To his relief, a few others in the bar started talking amongst themselves again. They might have been talking about him, but that was better than no talking at all. Xavier turned to Lansing, not knowing what to say, so just saying the first thing that came to mind: "You look rather pretty tonight." He cringed inside as he listened to his own words, but kept a calm, collected look on the outside. Are you sure you haven't had any beers yet? he mocked himself in his thoughts before waiting to see Lansing's reaction.

(oh my goodness nighterz we're both so good at rambling *HIGH FIVES*)

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[night]

"I'll have a beer."

Lansing was consistent in nearly all elements of her life. She ate the same things, she said the same things, she did the same things. Breakfast, work, dinner, read, tavern, see ma, visit cousins, sleep. Lansing liked things that she had long been familiar with. The bustling, loud, chattering atmosphere in the tavern. The routine. The reading of the same books (and not just because only a few books were available to the people of District 10). Basically everything. Lansing's consistency was impressive. That's why, when she heard Xavier order his drink, it was extremely odd that she pushed her glass of tapwater to the side and added to his order, "Me too."

[/color] She said to the bartender. Connor was his name. He was a year younger than she, and he raised his thick brown brows at her when she ordered, surprised. Lansing's consistency was impressive, and it was well-known. She widened her eyes at him in a Connor-my-cousins-will-beat-you-up-if-you-don't-get-me-a-drink kind of way.

"You look rather pretty tonight."

Lansing grinned, in a sort of lazy manner, like she was just too tired to smile all the way (the sight of Landon Craft both tired her and caused her insane amounts of stress) and her pale green eyes glowed at the compliment he gave her, though she didn't take her eyes off of Will Jackson and Landon Craft until she began to speak. "Thank you."[/color] She murmured through her lazy grin. "You do, too. Look handsome, I mean."[/color] Lansing sort of laughed at her own mistake, and a light blush dusted her cheeks. Connor the bartender gave her the beer she had ordered and she took it gladly, pointedly taking a small sip. She looked to her side, where a few of the people she worked with were still looking at Xavier, and she said, "You're famous."[/color] She raised her eyebrows, "Do they treat you like this in all the districts?"[/color] She asked, waving her hand around airily to indicate she was talking about the icy stares Xavier was on the receiving end of. [/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Alyssa :)]

Xavier gave Lansing a sideways glance when she ordered a beer as well. She seemed like more of a wine person to him, but then he realized that wine might be a little on the high end for this district. And then he remembered that he was in a poor district, that Lansing was poor, and that if anything ever happened between them, his co-workers would not be impressed. And the strange thing was Xavier didn't even care.

He watched for her reaction to his compliment, and he was presented with a lazy smile, which he thought was actually rather endearing. What was even more endearing were her next words: "You do, too. Look handsome, I mean," and the blush that followed. Xavier laughed with Lansing before saying, "I'm glad you think so." He smiled, his eyes not leaving her.

When Connor came back with their beers, Xavier smoothly grabbed his without taking his eyes of Lansing. He took a sip as he listened to her question, then thought a moment before answering. "Well, the districts closer to the Capitol are more accustomed to our visits than districts out here are. It's not unusual for us to visit them since they're so close, you see, but I guess we don't like traveling further out."

He removed his gaze from her just for a moment to look around at the people still staring at him. Looking back, he was actually happy that he left his suit at Lansing's place because if he was wearing that right now instead of the casual pants and white button-up shirt he had gotten from Lansing, he would stick out even more. It only would've made everything more uncomfortable. But at least now he could pretend he was one of them. Surely some of these people didn't recognize him in this get-up...right?

[night]

Although Lansing didn't often drink, there were, and always had been, two beverages of choice in District 10: water, and beer. Lansing and everyone else in the District had had alcohol available to them since their early teens. That was why she didn't so much as wince in reaction to the bitter taste (one she, if she had been from somewhere else, wouldn't be used to).

"I'm glad you think so."

Lansing beamed at Xavier, lazy smile fading but one corner of her mouth remained up. The warm yellowy light (from candles and cheap lightbulbs) made her widly pale green eyes appear more of a gold, almost whiskey-colored. She noticed, with surprise (her eyebrows shot up), that he wasn't wearing a suit, and rather was still in her cousins' clothes, the ones that she had let him borrow. She looked him up and down once, took another drink and said with an impish grin, "You look like you should be feeding the animals."

[/color] She smiled again, more sweetly, more like normal, and she added, "I like it."[/color]

"Well, the districts closer to the Capitol are more accustomed to our visits than districts out here are. It's not unusual for us to visit them since they're so close, you see, but I guess we don't like traveling further out."

Lansing thoughtfully took another sip of her beer. "Hmm."[/color] She tilted her head to one side, honey blonde hair falling from its place behind her ear, as she turned back to look at Landon Craft and Will Jackson. Landon looked, somehow, more dazed than usual, but, this was new: he almost looked as if he was trying to comprehend and focus on what Will was saying. Lansing was impressed.

ooc: oh man i don't know this is not very good sorry[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Alyssa :)]

As Xavier felt Lansing looking him over, he nervously took a swig of beer. So this is how the women feel when guys check them out, he thought. However, this swig of beer was more than the sip he took a few moments earlier--the extra amount was enough to for him to actually taste it, and it made him cringe slightly from the bitterness. Xavier wasn't used to this kind of beer, and he almost felt bad that this was probably the district's higher-end drink. They were really missing out on the alcohol back at the Capitol.

He looked back at Lansing after she finished studying him, her impish grin making him curious. But when he found out what she was thinking when she said, "You look like you should be feeding the animals," Xavier was offended. "Now now, Miss Lansing--" he started, but then he heard her finishing statement. "I like it." He was a little relieved that she hadn't actually meant to insult him. He hadn't thought it sounded like something she would do, after all. He smiled and said to her in reply, "Miss Lansing, I am a high-ranked Capitol official. Someone like me might have taken that as an insult, saying that I look like a...what would you call it? A farmboy?" He laughed, leaning back in his chair. "But lucky for you, I am a very easy-going guy." He casually took another swig of beer and managed not to wince this time. Yes, Xavier was very easy-going guy, who also rather loved to joke around. Which was a good thing, considering this could've ended very badly if he were someone else from the Capitol.

Xavier followed Lansing's gaze to a young man across the room. He watched with curiosity as a man seemed to try to coax some words out of him, and the young man didn't seem to react too much to him. Xavier turned back to the woman beside him. "What's that all about?" he asked, even though it probably wasn't his business.

[night]

"...But lucky for you, I am an easy-going guy."

Lansing grinned in that lazy way again, corally pink lips just barely pulled over her shiny white teeth, pale green eyes dancing (but their sparkle may have just been a result of the dim candles reflecting off of her irises). She took a sip of her drink, moving so slow that it matched the manner of her lazy smile. "Don't be silly. Farmboys are the very best kind."

[/color] She nodded matter-of-factly, widening her eyes as she spoke, as if this was a very important fact and she was a very important person and Xavier was very lucky that she had taken some of her very important time to explain this to him.

"What's that all about?"

Lansing looked to Xavier, then back to Landon. Then she leaned forward and peered around her beer bottle, as if she were spying on Landon, and she spoke quietly (District 10 wasn't fond of strangers in the first place, and they wouldn't like if Lansing shared Landon Craft's story with one), "That's Landon Craft."[/color] She said in a low voice, "His sister was thirteen when she died in the Games. He was seventeen and he's been drunk ever since."[/color] Lansing nodded at the end of her sentence, deciding that all Xavier really needed to know was the jest of it, which she had given.

ooc: sorry my posts aren't very good aS OF LATE[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Alyssa :)]

Xavier raised his eyebrows at Lansing's statement, "Don't be silly. Farmboys are the very best kind." He smiled a little and responded, "Oh really? So you prefer the simple and rugged to the fancy and reserved? Good to know." He added a wink at the end just to kid around.

As he listened to Lansing's explanation of Landon Craft's story, Xavier slowly nodded and sipped his drink. Something about the way Lansing talked about it reminded him of earlier when they were talking about her friend dying in the Hunger Games. She had never told him the friend's name, but Xavier could guess pretty easily that this was the girl. To be sure, he asked. "His sister...she didn't by chance happen to also be your friend who you told me of earlier? The one who was...um...tragically killed by the District 2 girl?" He had wanted to use a nicer word than "killed," but couldn't find one. However, now his hesitation made it sound awkward and unsympathetic. Xavier hoped Lansing didn't take it that way.

(my goodness i'm sorry this took so long and i'm sorry i didn't really give you anything to work with X( )

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[night]

Lansing widened her pale green eyes and nodded matter-of-factly. "Yes," She said, with a small smile, "I come from a long line of the simple and rugged." Then Lansing put one hand on his forearm, as if to help him brace himself for bad news, and she leaned forward, close enough for him to hear a whisper in the crowded bar, "Actually, I don't know if you've noticed, Xavier Hayes, but things that are fancy and reserved don't really, ah….exist around here." She smiled at Xavier and returned his wink while she was still close, and then pulled away, looking around the bar to make sure her statement was true. Like always, it was. No one was dressed in more than a cotton shirt and casual pants. Xavier actually fit in quite well in his outfit, with the exception of a more stylish and Capitol-esque haircut. Lansing suddenly realized she was staring at Xavier, and her eyes darted down to meet his as a scarlet red color filled her cheeks, "Sorry."

[/color] She murmured, embarrassed.

"His sister...she didn't by chance happen to also be your friend who you told me of earlier? The one who was...um...tragically killed by the District two girl?"

Something struck a chord in Lansing. In her chair, she suddenly sat up a little straighter. Her muscles tensed. She set her jaw. Her fingers tightened around her beer bottle, and she shakily rose it to quivering lips to take a sip. Once she put the beer bottle down, she didn't let go of it, but she let out a heavy sigh and turned to face Xavier again. "Yes. She was my very best friend."[/color] Lansing suddenly laughed, almost bitterly, but the laugh was too close to its normal, sweet sound to match the conversation it was in. She abruptly grabbed one of Xavier's hands, holding it in both of hers as she told a story, a strange half-smile spreading across her face as she tried hard to compose herself, "I almost got her in trouble because, ah, when they called her name I wouldn't let go of her hand."[/color] Lansing nodded at Xavier's hand, which she was currently holding how she had Lily Craft's. They had always held hands during the reapings, as a weak form of comfort. She shook her head, "I didn't even realize I was holding it. I was just, you know, in shock. Couldn't register what was going on."[/color] Lansing laughed that odd laugh again, but was no longer wearing that strange smile as her eyes sort of glazed over, "They basically had to pry me off. Then, when I came to, I fought the peacekeepers who pulled me away. I don't know why; I was just trying to save her. Anyway,"[/color] Lansing let go of Xavier's hand after squeezing it lightly, flashing a strained smile at the Gamemaker. She wouldn't mention the fact that she felt a stinging sort of guilt whenever she brought Lily Craft and the reaping up, because she could have very well saved her and volunteered to go in her place, "You might remember it. That year, they showed that clip almost as much as they showed Katniss Everdeen's a few years ago."[/color] [/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Alyssa :)]

By now Xavier had drained his drink (he was actually a pretty heavy drinker) and had already waved Connor over and asked for another. He was about to take a swig as he listened to Lansing when she placed her hand on his arm. What power a little touch can possess. She now had his full attention, and he slowly set down the drink. His eyes never left hers. Then she leaned in close to him and his breathing slowed. For some reason her use of his full name stirred up his emotions a little. Then she topped it all off with a wink. Xavier had a feeling her wink affected him a bit more than his had affected her. Why was it that she made him so...crazy?

When Lansing pulled away, the Gamemaker managed to pull himself together a little. He leaned back in his chair and put on the cool, relaxed image again as he took a swig of his second beer. He glanced at her and noticed that she was looking him over...checking him out? Of course, Xavier's ego may be a little big and therefore cause him jump to this conclusion, but it was kind of true. His lips turned into a crooked, amused smile as she apologized. "That's quite alright, miss," he responded, about to add a comment about it only being natural to find him attractive when he stopped himself. He was trying to keep away from cocky remarks like that. He was trying to be a nicer person. Not that it would make up for the terrible things he did as a Gamemaker.

This was only proved in Lansing's next words. The fact that her best friend was killed in the Hunger Games, by a ploy some Gamemaker just like him had made, meant that nothing he could do would change the fact that he was a terrible man. This time, Lansing's touch as she grasped his hand didn't stir up good emotions. This time, he only felt sick with guilt.

"You might remember it. That year, they showed that clip almost as much as they showed Katniss Everdeen's a few years ago."

The bad thing was that Xavier did remember the clip of that Reaping. As a Gamemaker, he had been asked to watch a lot of past Hunger Games footage. He hadn't watched many of the Reapings since they usually didn't have much to do with his work, but this one had made it into the group he had watched. Probably because, as Lansing had said, it was pretty famous. And Xavier couldn't believe he hadn't recognized her as that young, blonde girl until now. It was a strange realization, and it helped him begin to understand just how brave and strong Lansing really was. To stand up to the Peacekeepers and fight for your friend took lots of guts, and Xavier couldn't help but feel a little admiration through his guilt. Now, what was he going to say to Lansing? He decided to just voice his thoughts, no filtering, no covering, just the honest truth.

"You were brave to stand up for your friend. Brave and amazing," he began. "And I'm truly sorry that you had to experience that friend being taken away from you and killed. I'm sorry that my job is to do just that, to friends of people just like you. I'm sorry that this is who I am." Xavier's eyes darkened as that side of him, the side that was the Gamemaker, grew and took over for a moment. The words "this is who I am" were only partly true, for only part of him was the killer. The other part was the person he used to be, before his wife's death. Even though that goodness still lives in him, it is uncertain if it will ever grow again and if he will ever be as he used to be. If he will ever be the Xavier Hayes without a dark side. If he will ever be the man that wasn't a murderer.

(nighterzzz i've missed this so much! i so happy :') and i think i was post-deprived cuz this is reeeaaalllyyy long XD)

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[night]

"That's quite all right, miss."

Lansing lifted her cold beer bottle and pressed it to the side of her face, thinking that it might get rid of the deep red blush that had invaded her cheeks, but the sight of Xavier's handsome crooked grin only deepened their scarlet hue. She was rarely so enamored with another human being, but Xavier made her feel like a ten-year-old with a new toy - he was shiny and new and glamorous and foreign to her, all of which was terribly exciting. She returned his grin with her own small smile, and explained, "You're just, very, ah....glittery. For lack of a better word."

[/color] Lansing smiled sheepishly; now that the words were out of her mouth she found herself wishing that she hadn't tried to explain, but it was in her nature to. She could explain anything to death. She, of course, meant that Xavier was the most interesting and glamorous person she had ever met what with him being from the Capitol and whatnot. He seemed much like the Victors after they won. Like the last Victor, Anya Weston. On her tour she was made up and dressed so impeccably that she barely seemed real, like she was, instead, just a vision of what a person should be like. All glittery and perfect. Xavier was very close to being the same.

Lansing's eyebrows shot up as soon as Xavier began to speak, calling her brave. Landon Craft had said something along those lines years ago, but even Lansing's own mother had called her stupid for fighting with the peacekeepers. The people of District 10 had been trained to stay submissive and to never to voice their opinions over the wrongdoings of the Capitol. "Well, it was a long time ago."[/color] She said, rather coolly (which surprised even her). In truth, Lansing didn't think about Lily Craft nearly as much as she used to. It was only when Landon Craft was around or the Games were coming up. For years after Lily Craft died, the thought of her plagued Lansing's mind all day every day. It was only a short while ago that Lansing had recovered from everything that happened when the pair of girls was thirteen and she wasn't fond of dredging things up from the past. This was exactly the kind of talk that she had been trying to avoid by coming to the town's bar.

"I'm sorry that this is who I am."

Lansing froze. Her pale green eyes narrowed as she looked at Xavier, as if she were trying to find something, and then widened again. Lansing was usually a warm person, but her first instinct was to let Xavier wallow in his own guilt. And if Xavier hadn't told her about his dead wife and given Lansing those beautiful new shoes, she probably would have just turned away and pretend that he ceased to exist. It was easy enough to ignore the fact that Xavier was a Gamemaker when they weren't talking about Lily Craft, but now it really wasn't. Lansing didn't know what to think about Xavier, let alone what to say to comfort him. "Well....it wasn't you. Not then."[/color] Lansing flinched because this probably was the complete wrong thing to say, "I don't think you're...ah, I don't think you're a bad man, Xavier."[/color] She murmured quietly, looking down at her fingers as she drummed them on the bar counter. Despite her words, Lansing really couldn't be sure.

"Besides,"[/color]She added, brightly, partially because she no longer wished to talk about Lily Craft and partly because she didn't like seeing Xavier unhappy (both of which were obvious in the strained manner in which she spoke), "I doubt anyone who actually took pleasure in hurting district people would buy one these!"[/color] She grinned and turned to the side, pulling her feet out from under the bar so Xavier could see that she was wearing those new shiny black boots he had bought her a week ago. "I've been getting so many compliments on them,"[/color] Lansing said, leaning towards Xavier like she was telling a secret, "They're lovely." She looked down as if admiring them, but really she couldn't stand to look at Xavier's dark eyes anymore - they reminded her only of the fact that he was, indeed, a Gamemaker, something she wished very much she could forget.



ooc: OMG I KNOW I AM SO HAPPY ALSO THIS TOOK A LONG TIME AND I TOOK A LOT OF BREAKS IN BETWEEN WRITING IT SO LIKE THE LEVEL AT WHICH IT MAKES SENSE IS LOW [/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Alyssa :)]

Xavier laughed when Lansing described him as "glittery." Rugged...Stylish...Brilliant...he had been called all these things before, but "glittery" was a first. Xavier guessed that she meant he stood out, that he was kind of gaudy...and as he looked around the room, he realized that it was kind of true. Even while wearing the same clothes as everyone else, he still stood out with his elaborate hairstyle, his callous-less hands, and his light skin. All of these characteristics showed that he didn't work in the fields like most people in this district. No one who worked on a farm would spend so much time on their hair when it would be ruined just a few minutes in, no one who worked as little as a week would still have soft hands, and no one would have light skin after standing out in the sun for hours on end.

These things made Xavier different and foreign, like he didn't belong. He knew he wasn't meant for District 10 and that he belonged in the Capitol, but he also felt that he belonged here with Lansing. It was a strange, feeling pulled to two separate places. Maybe...if Lansing came back to the Capitol with him, this feeling would go away? No, I could never take her away from her home... Xavier told himself. But deep down he knew that he would do anything to be with Lansing, even if it meant being selfish and taking her without her consent. This was the kind of guy Xavier was, though Lansing didn't know it yet. She had only seen his good side, the man he was before his wife died. However, as Xavier grew more and more comfortable around her, it was only a matter of time before she saw his other side.

"Well, it was a long time ago."

Xavier recognized immediately that this was the end of the conversation. Lansing didn't want to talk about it, and he saw no need to continue with it. So that was that.

"Well....it wasn't you. Not then. I don't think you're...ah, I don't think you're a bad man, Xavier."

He shook his head as she said this. "I don't think you're going to say that after I kill another twenty-three children in the next Hunger Games," he stated darkly. Xavier regretted the truth of his words, but he also knew he had to do his job and that the twisted, evil part of him even wanted to do the job. So even though he wanted to make Lansing happy, nothing was going to keep him from his work.

He was pulled from his thoughts when Lansing changed the subject to the black boots Xavier had given her. His stern expression quickly changed to a small smile as he listened to her happy ranting about the shoes. When she whispered to him that she thought they were lovely, he turned his head so he could softly reply in her ear, "I think so too." He leaned back against his chair, accidentally brushing his rough, unshaven cheek against hers the slightest bit, almost not enough to be noticed. Xavier didn't even notice--he was too busy thinking about starting his attempts at bringing Lansing back to the Capitol with him. Deciding to start right away, he said, "You know...if you ever wanted to come visit the Capitol, I'd be willing to be your escort and guide. You would find many lovely things like those boots there." He ended it with a mischievous, persuasive smile.

(sorry this isn't that great >.< it was good before i lost it! when i rewrote it it ended up like this though v.v)

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[night]

"I don't think you're going to say that after I kill another twenty-three children in the next Hunger Games."

Lansing couldn't argue. She very much wanted to believe Xavier was a good man, but when she thought of the twenty-three tributes whose deaths he had a hand in each year, she felt the same way she did right after Lily Craft's reaping: sick. She looked away from Xavier abruptly, reaching up with both hands and running her fingers through her hair, like she always did when she was tense. Then Lansing sighed, "Maybe not."

[/color] She looked back at Xavier with great caution shining in her pale green eyes. "But, you know, when I was watching my friend in the Games, when I was thirteen, what she was doing really scared me. She was such a nice girl. A good person."[/color] Lansing said, nodding matter-of-factly. She had been so surprised, so sad when she saw Lily Craft partake in the same things all the other tributes did. She had been crying so hard. It was then that her mother made her single attempt at making her daughter feel better and she had said this, "And my mom said that good people do bad things sometimes. Just...you know. Just what they have to. To get by."[/color] Lansing shrugged. She wasn't sure if that particularly applied to Xavier, but for odd some reason beyond herself, she did want to comfort him, make him feel better.

"I think so too."

Lansing's heartbeat quickened and her breath caught in her throat when Xavier leaned in, whispering, so close to her. As he pulled away and his unshaven cheek brushed against hers, she lifted one hand and pressed two of her fingers to her face. She watched Xavier intently, pale green eyes wide and sparkling with a delighted fascination. It took her a few moments to regain her composure, and when she did she flashed a small, modest smile, "I was worried you wouldn't think they suit me."[/color] She admitted sheepishly. In truth, she had been rather concerned that the Gamemaker would think the pair of boots too nice for her - they were the nicest things she had ever owned, nicer than anything she could have hoped to own living in District 10, and none of her other clothes matched their quality.

"You know...if you ever wanted to come visit the Capitol, I'd be willing to be your escort and guide. You would find many lovely things like those boots there."

Her eyebrows shot up. Nothing else Xavier had said had thrown her this much. "I-is that even allowed?" She sputtered. Maybe, she thought, maybe Xavier, as Gamemaker, had that sort of influence. Lansing had, many a time, imagined him at a beautiful party, wearing beautiful clothes, and surrounded by beautiful women. She tried to picture herself in the place of one of those women. It didn't fit. She just didn't belong in a place like that. Everything about her would stick out. Deeply tanned skin from working all day. Calloused hands. Everything about her, right town to the tiniest of mannerisms, would scream "district!". Lansing's own mother would have a heart attack at the thought of her daughter visiting the Capitol. The woman had always said that she should have been born there. Lansing, herself, wasn't so sure. "Oh,"[/color] She began, "I could never fit in there."[/color] She blushed just at the thought of the embarrassment she would feel if she did end up there, with hordes of strangely dressed and strangely made up people staring at her. "I'm sure there are lots of lovely things...I, ah, just don't think I'd suit any of them."[/color] Lansing shook her head, flashing a small, embarrassed sort of smile and furrowing her brow at the same time.[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Alyssa :)]

Xavier listened quietly as Lansing talked about good people doing bad things. They have to so they can get by… he thought to himself, trying to figure out if that fit him, if he was doing bad things as Gamemaker so he could get by. If I didn’t have this job, I would be broke, yes…but does that count? The problem was, Xavier was looking in the wrong direction. He was thinking he did bad things to physically get by, when really he was doing it to survive mentally. The real reason he had to be a Gamemaker was that it required so much use of his brain, he had no time to think of his dead wife. If he hadn’t become part of the Hunger Games, he probably would’ve killed himself by now out of complete and utter depression. However, Xavier usually doesn’t see this. He usually doesn’t even know why he’s a Gamemaker, he just knows that he absolutely has to do it. There’s something in the subconscious part of his brain telling him to, and although it doesn’t seem like a good thing, it’s just trying to protect him, and it’s doing that by warding off thoughts of his wife.

"I was worried you wouldn't think they suit me."

“No, never!” Xavier reassured her. “Only a crazy man would think that.” He gave her a smile, oblivious to the irony of that statement: he was probably one of the craziest men in the bar. However, he was telling the truth when he said that he thought the boots suited her. In his opinion, Lansing could look good in anything, and that’s partly why he believed she could fit in at the Capitol. He thought that with just a few minor clothing choice adjustments, she would look just like everyone else there. In fact, he believed with such beauty she was made to be a model or something for the Capitol. She just looked like that type of girl. However, Lansing didn’t seem to think so.

"I-is that even allowed?"

Xavier looked at her with an amused smile and an eyebrow raised slightly. “I’m Head Gamemaker, I can make anything happen,” he replied with confidence. Sure, there would be lots of arguing and he would probably lose his high reputation, but he didn’t care. He needed Lansing too much. The problem was that she sounded like she didn't want anything to do with it.

"I'm sure there are lots of lovely things...I, ah, just don't think I'd suit any of them."

”I happen to think the exact opposite,” Xavier said with a small laugh. He started to voice his earlier thoughts. ”I think you look just as beautiful as any woman at the Capitol. With a few new outfits, you would look like you’ve lived there forever.”

[night]

Lansing flashed her pearly whites at Xavier in a wide grin, happy to have his approval, even if it was only over a pair of shiny new black boots.

"I’m Head Gamemaker, I can make anything happen."

Lansing tilted her head to one side, smiling softly at Xavier's confidence in his statement. It wasn't that she doubted what he said - but rather, it suddenly occurred to her that Xavier was among the highest ranking officials from the Capitol. She just wondered whether or not Xavier was so confident in his ability to bring Lansing to the Capitol because he had done it before - brought a wide-eyed district girl to the Capitol just to wear on his arm for a few weeks before he got bored. Then again, he had seemed as if he was still grieving the death of his wife. Lansing decided to avoid the subject entirely, remembering how completely Xavier had broken down when they had talked about his deceased wife. Instead she pursed her lips as if giving the idea some thought, "But, Mr. Head Gamemaker,"

[/color] Lansing said, pulling one corner of her mouth up in an alluring sort of smile, "What would all your friends say?"[/color] She, for one, knew what the people of District 10 would do: brand her as a traitor.

”I think you look just as beautiful as any woman at the Capitol. With a few new outfits, you would look like you’ve lived there forever.”

Lansing blushed, and pressed her chilly beer bottle to her right cheek again, in a feeble attempt at cooling down her hot face. She, of course, disagreed with Xavier. Once she gathered her thoughts, she smiled and said playfully, "Everyone would know where I'm from. Wouldn't they make fun of me?"[/color] Lansing raised her eyebrows and took a sip of her beer. She knew very well what most people from the Capitol thought of those from the districts. It was evident in the Hunger Games, in how little many districts had to eat, the abuse from Peacekeepers. Those from the districts were less than animals to many of the Capitol's citizens.



ooc: IAM SORRY THIS IS SO BAD I WAS JUST TRYING TO POST BEFORE I LEFT FOR MY HORRIBLE CAMPING TRIP[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]