Staying the night, if she likes it or not (NIGHT)

[Alyssa :)]

Xavier let out a short laugh. "Yes," he answered. "That's why I may not have acted my usual gentlemanly self." He looked down at his hands, embarrassed as he imagined the scene over again. The striding up to her without warning, the demanding to know who she was, the moodiness... "I was quite rude, wasn't I?" he asked, frowning a little. "I apologize. I just...I was a bit angry that someone else could wear her beauty. Now I realize you have your own beauty, one different from hers." As Xavier said this, his words slowing and getting softer with each syllable, he carefully reached up and brushed a few strands of hair away from her face. His gaze drifted from the hair to her eyes, and he started to lose himself in their beauty.

Then he remembered. Lansing was not his wife, and he shouldn't be falling for her. He was in love with Jessica. But that part of his life was fading, and this new one that Lansing had burrowed herself into was fresh in his mind. He couldn't stay away from her. But still, he felt torn, and he stood up off the cot and moved away from Lansing. Xavier sighed, his back to her, as he leaned against the wall. Things were getting out of hand, and he didn't know what to do about it.

[night]

Lansing smiled and nodded and Xavier's first comment, unsure of what to say -- usually she wasn't at such a loss for words, but usually she wasn't involved in such awkward conversations. "Only a little rude." She said with a knowing smile. Her eyes widened at Xavier's next words; she had no idea of how to respond but she was more than a little entranced by him, and his touch especially put knots in her stomach. No one did that. She was never nervous. Barely. "Oh. Ah. Thank you." She said.

Lansing nearly jumped when he stood up so abruptly, and then she sat on the cot by herself for a few moments, twiddling her thumbs and still not sure of what she should say or do. After a long while, she stood up from the cot and walked to Xavier, placing one gentle hand on his back, and saying, "Are you all right?" And then, later, adding, "I can leave you alone if you like."

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[Alyssa :)]

Xavier didn't even notice Lansing's uncertainty and discomfort, he was too caught up in those eyes. He did notice later, however, her hand on his back as he listened to her speak. Just a small touch like that sent a warm feeling through him.

Xavier took a deep breath before replying, "I'm afraid...that's the problem. I don't want you to go." He slowly turned and took the hand that was just resting on his back in both of his. He kept his eyes down, until finally forcing himself to look at her. "I don't want you to go...but I also feel like I need to separate myself from you. Because...because of my wife...my dead wife... But I can't help but be drawn to you." Xavier took one of his hands away from hers and caressed her cheek. "Do you understand? Do you share the same feelings? I feel so...torn. And I'm so sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, in any way..." He trailed off as he searched her eyes, knowing he may have just completely disturbed Lansing, and might have to start looking for a new place to stay now. If she didn't have the same feelings as he did, she may not be comfortable with him being in her city, much less her house.

[night]

"I'm afraid that's the problem. I don't want you to go."

Lansing tilted her head to one side and bit her lip, confused for a moment until she realized that Xavier must feel rather guilty for being here with Lansing, especially when his dead wife was on his mind. She hadn't noticed that he had taken her hand in both of his, and when she did she jumped a little, but only because his touch made her feel electric, almost, like her body was a livewire. She stayed quiet for a moment, then raised the hand Xavier wasn't holding and used it to cover his over hand, the one pressed against her cheek. "No…no, that's okay." She said, pale green-grey eyes suddenly filling with soft sympathy, and for a moment she was silent once more, until she really couldn't help herself and she wrapped her arms around Xavier's neck - because a hug was the only thing she could think of that might make him feel a little better. "You don't have to feel guilty," She finally said, "Because we don't have to be anything more than friends."

SORRY THIS TOOK A REALLLL LONG TIME N IT'S NOT REAALLL GREAT BUT WHATEVA WHATEVA I DO WHAT I WANT WOOOO

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[Alyssa :)]

Xavier noticed Lansing wasn't pulling away, which gave him a moment of relief. At least she hasn't taken her gun out yet, he thought with grim humor. But then she was wrapping her arms around him, and he inhaled sharply as a mass of emotions crushed down on him. He found his arms gripping Lansing in return without his permission. He decided to just go along with his body and soak in her comfort as he listened to her speak.

"You don't have to feel guilty..."

Even though Xavier completely disagreed with this statement, thinking that there was absolutely no reason for him not to feel guilty, he felt the sharp pain that had been in his chest for so long suddenly soothe to a dull ache. Just hearing someone say that was healing him. Then he heard Lansing's next words:

"...because we don't have to be anything more than friends."

The pain came back like a knife to the heart, and he felt his eyes water. Then came the self-punishment. You shouldn't feel like this! Xavier screamed at himself in his head. You shouldn't be sad that you can't be more that friends with a woman other than your wife! But there was still that little voice, growing stronger by the hour, reminding Xavier that his wife was indeed dead. And he needed to move on, perhaps with this woman. But Xavier wouldn't listen to that voice just yet, and right now he needed to remove himself from the situation to think.

"I have to go," was all he could get out in a strangled voice, extracting himself from her arms and briskly walking out the bedroom door and down the hallway. He grabbed his shoes before abruptly leaving the house.

It was raining again. Xavier slipped his shoes on before continuing his brisk walk away from the house through the rain. He groaned and looked up at the sky for a moment as he realized he had left his suit in Lansing's bedroom. But it was too late to go back now, and the suit really wasn't that important, anyway. Getting away was all that mattered.

(look at all that rambling i just did! i'm sorry X( )

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[night]

"I have to go."

Lansing's brow furrowed, and her pale green eyes both widened from surprise and darkened from her mildly hurt feelings as Xavier tore himself from her arms. She followed him slowly as he rushed from her house, opening her mouth as if to protest and pointing over her shoulder as if to make him remember that he left his suit in the back, even though he couldn't see her do either. As he speed-walked through the front door and into the pouring rain, she called, "What is…what are you doing? What's wrong?"

[/color] And for a moment she thought about going after him, but figured that, if he, as a Capitol citizen, was willing to leave his expensive suit and charge off into the rain dressed the way he was, he wanted and needed time alone, even if she wasn't quite sure what she had done to upset him so. She walked to the edge of her porch, to the railing, placed her hands on the rough wood and watched as he left with sad green eyes. [/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]